making people angry part 3

I guess I really was sick back then.
That I punished myself for not being my best, for not being loved or even liked by anyone else but mum and maby my math teacher.

I was so afraid.
I was afraid of my mother dying.
War.
Pedofiles.
Spiders.
Cancer.
Birds.
Rain.
Bridges.
Flyes.
Rapists and murderers.

I kept them all away by having alot of rules.
What to eat and not eat.
What do say.
How to act.
How to cut and to bleed.

Now, I'm not sick.
I don't cut myself anymore. (the scars are so unattractive.)
More important:
I'm not afraid.